Comedy, by Ken Bradbury, 2004

A pirate ship. The captain gives a loyalty test to the crew. Category? Poetry.

The number and gender of characters can be changed to accommodate available participants. Price is for a master script. Make as many copies as is required for your ensemble.


8 - 10 minutes

    Cast Options

  • 3 Females, 2 Males
  • 1 Female, 4 Males
  • 4 Females, 1 Male
  • 5 Females
  • 2 Females, 3 Males
  • 5 Males

Product Id: #788

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An excerpt …

 (the loyalty test)

ALL CREW: A test?

LeFARGE: Yes! Yes! A test! A test! To see which of you loves me best!

ALL CREW: (moans)

LeFARGE: What’s that?

ALL CREW: (smiling with a sound of great pleasure) Ahhhh!

LeFARGE: That’s better. And today’s category is … drum roll, Dogsbody! (Dogsbody does a drum roll on the head of the others) … Poetry!

ALL CREW: Poetry?

(not just a literary society)

LeFARGE: Lose. A contest to see which is truly the bravest of my motley crew! Scurvy! You’re first! Climb the main mast and jump down from the top!

SCURVY: But Captain!!!

LeFARGE: Did I hear “please?”

SCURVY: But Captain, please! I’ll die!

LeFARGE: Scurvy, in this cruel world we win some and we lose some. Who knows, this may be your day! (angrily) Now climb before I toss you to the sharks!

SCURVY: (climbs onto a chair and mimes climbing up the mast) I hate heights!


BOGGLES: (as the crew members watch LeFarge meet his end) I say, Dogsbody. Good show.

PENDRAGON: Good show indeed. Serves him right.

SCURVY: Bit of bad step, eh? Can he swim?

BOGGLES: Yes, but … ooooo … he didn’t outswim that shark. Anybody for lunch?

SCURVY: He was.

PENDRAGON: How ‘bout a bit swordfish and rum?

BOGGLES: Smashing idea, old chap! (shouting to the Captain) Captain LeFarge! Yo Ho… (sees something awful) …Yuck.


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