Comedy, by Ken Bradbury, 1997

A first grader is sent to the principal's office for quoting his/her daddy. It seems the teacher's rendition of the Three Little Pigs didn't set very well.


4 - 5 minutes

    Cast Options

  • 1 Male
  • 1 Female

Product Id: #110

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An excerpt …

(Sent to the principal’s office.)

... But I don’t think it’s fair, and I want you to know that.

I mean, what’s a boy (girl) to do?  Just what’s a boy (girl) to do?

I mean, it’s only my second day of first grade

and I ain’t got the lay of this place yet.

See ... Mrs. Waters was tellin’ this God-awful stupid story about ...

Yes’m.  I didn’t mean to take God’s name in vain.

It’s just that my Daddy says it all the time and ...

Yeh, I know you’ve heard enough.

That’s OK, Ma’am, I’ll shut up.

(A question or two about the story in class.)

And these pigs was in the construction business!

Good night nurse!

Oh, I know ... my family’s been in the hills since granddad got busted for runnin’ a still behind the

            Baptist church but dog-gone it, that don’t make us stupid!

Least I know a hog can’t drive a nail!

Yes’m.  I’ll shut up now ... stupid pigs ...

What?  Nothin’.

Yeh, I know you’ve heard enough.

That’s OK, Ma’am, I’ll shut up.

(The parents are called to the school.)

Here’s the story: There were these poor, stupid little pigs was all huddled inside a house that was

            already about to cave in on ‘em.

They had college degrees in house-buildin’, they could talk ...

I mean, they just had the whole world goin’ for ‘em.

And here came the big bad wolf

And Mrs. Waters said, “The wolf huffed and he puffed

            and he blew the house down!”

I couldn’t believe it!

I just stood up and, just like daddy, I said,

“Now ain’t that a hell of a note!”


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