WHEN IT RAINS ...

Comedy, by Robert L. Crowe, 1994

This duet captures the charm of subtle British humor combined with a few American belly laughs. A rather particular man goes to a department store to get just the right gift.

Price includes 2 scripts.

Duration

8 - 10 minutes

    Cast Options

  • 1 Female, 1 Male

Product Id: #229

Price
$12.00
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An excerpt …

(A day of shopping.)

SHE: Oh!  You startled me!  I didn’t hear you come up.

HE: Well, I’ve been told I have little cat feet.

SHE: Can I help you, sir?

HE: Yes, I would like to buy something.

SHE: What a coincidence.  That’s what we do here at Womby’s Department Store.  We sell things.  If  you might be a bit more specific perhaps I could direct you to the proper department within the department store.

HE: Yes, thank you.  I’d like to buy a gift for someone special.

SHE: Lady or a gentleman.

HE: Woman ... er, lady.  Certainly a lady ... as opposed to just being a woman, you see.

(They narrow the discussion.)

HE: Exactly.  So we’ve decided that, haven’t we.  A personal gift.

SHE: Yes, we are narrowing it down in such good fashion and there’s a chance we may even find a category before the store closes at five.  Do you think you’d like wearing apparel or a gift for other use?

HE: I don’t know.  If you were a lady, what kind of gift would you like?

SHE: (taps her foot and looks at him, then) Silence.

HE: I beg your pardon.

SHE: That’s what I’d like.  The gift of silence.  After talking to customers all day that would be the ultimate kindness.

(The shopping does not go smoothly.)

SHE: Well, drum that idea out of your head, Curly.  Here are the purses.  Calf skin.

HE: You skinned a calf to make that purse?

SHE:   No, sir. I didn’t skin the calf.  I simply wrestle the steers to the ground. (smiles) The lady in the complaint department actually skins them.

HE: Really.

SHE: (she changes directions) How about giving her lovely feet?

HE: How are you so sure she doesn’t already have lovely feet?

SHE: I was referring to our shoe department.  Shoes.  You know, sell lovely feet and all that.  Here are some sturdy brown ones for walking.  Very practical.  Everyone needs a pair of these.

HE: Not made out of calf skin, I hope.

SHE: No.  When we made the purses, we used up all the calves.  These are imitation leather.

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