WHEN IT RAINS ...
Comedy, by Robert L. Crowe, 1994
This duet captures the charm of subtle British humor combined with a few American belly laughs. A rather particular man goes to a department store to get just the right gift.
Price includes 2 scripts.
Duration8 - 10 minutes
- 1 Female, 1 Male
Product Id: #229
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An excerpt …
(A day of shopping.)
SHE: Oh! You startled me! I didn’t hear you come up.
HE: Well, I’ve been told I have little cat feet.
SHE: Can I help you, sir?
HE: Yes, I would like to buy something.
SHE: What a coincidence. That’s what we do here at Womby’s Department Store. We sell things. If you might be a bit more specific perhaps I could direct you to the proper department within the department store.
HE: Yes, thank you. I’d like to buy a gift for someone special.
SHE: Lady or a gentleman.
HE: Woman ... er, lady. Certainly a lady ... as opposed to just being a woman, you see.
(They narrow the discussion.)
HE: Exactly. So we’ve decided that, haven’t we. A personal gift.
SHE: Yes, we are narrowing it down in such good fashion and there’s a chance we may even find a category before the store closes at five. Do you think you’d like wearing apparel or a gift for other use?
HE: I don’t know. If you were a lady, what kind of gift would you like?
SHE: (taps her foot and looks at him, then) Silence.
HE: I beg your pardon.
SHE: That’s what I’d like. The gift of silence. After talking to customers all day that would be the ultimate kindness.
(The shopping does not go smoothly.)
SHE: Well, drum that idea out of your head, Curly. Here are the purses. Calf skin.
HE: You skinned a calf to make that purse?
SHE: No, sir. I didn’t skin the calf. I simply wrestle the steers to the ground. (smiles) The lady in the complaint department actually skins them.
SHE: (she changes directions) How about giving her lovely feet?
HE: How are you so sure she doesn’t already have lovely feet?
SHE: I was referring to our shoe department. Shoes. You know, sell lovely feet and all that. Here are some sturdy brown ones for walking. Very practical. Everyone needs a pair of these.
HE: Not made out of calf skin, I hope.
SHE: No. When we made the purses, we used up all the calves. These are imitation leather.
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