WE ARE THE GIRLS

Comedy, by Ken Bradbury, 2003

Women throughout history were doing pretty well — if it hadn’t been for the men. Meet Cleopatra, Amelia Ehrhart, Eve, Joan of Arc and many more.

The number and gender of characters can be changed to accommodate available participants. Price is for a master script. Make as many copies as is required for your ensemble.

Duration

8 - 10 minutes

    Cast Options

  • 5 Females

Product Id: #775

Price
$18.00
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Cleopatra

An excerpt …

(meet Cleo …)

1: Perhaps the most beautiful woman who ever lived! The Great … Cleopatra! (the others hum some Egytpian-sounding music as #5 enters as Cleopatra)

5: (as Cleopatra) Mark! Mark, have you seen my crown?

1: Sorry, I’m busy. I’ve got tickets for the Senators’ game.

5: Busy? Who put up the money for your miserable little wars ... which, I might add, you kept losing?

1: Sure. Throw the wars up in my face.

5: I should have stayed with Julius.

1: Oh, don’t dig him up again.

5: I am sick and tired of supporting the men in life!

1: So take a break! Cruise the Nile or something!

5: That’s a little tough. We’re in Rome.

1: Look Cleo honey, I’ve got to run. Say hi to the kids.

(stake tonight)

4: King Charles! Thank God you got here! You wanna spit on the flames a little? Maybe toss in some of that Diet Coke?

3: What seems to be the problem, Joan?

4: (blowing furiously, then) The problem? The problem! Hello! I lead your army at Orleans, got captured by the Burgundians, and ransomed by the English. Then I get put on trial for witchcraft. Now the church is burning me at the stake for wearing men’s pants! It’s been a bad day, Charlie. A really bad day!

3: Could you speak up a bit? I’ve got to move away. This blasted fire’s getting bit tepid, if you know what I mean.

4: Tepid? Hello? Can you say scorching? Can you say deadly? Is there a woman out there somewhere!? I need somebody with a brain in her head. (screams and dies)

(another problem with men)

1: (as Amelia Earhart, holding desperately onto the controls of her plane which is bobbing about in the turbulence, one hand on her microphone) What? Speak up! I can’t hear you! How should I know where I am, it’s dark up here! I left New Guinea a few hours ago but my compass … Hello? Hey, can anybody hear me? (to herself) What’s wrong with this stupid radio? Men! Men built my plane and it’s going down! Men made the radio and it’s worthless! (screaming into the microphone) Is there a woman out there somewhere!? I need professional help! (to herself) There it is! My parachute. (grabs her parachute then rips the cord loose) Oh, great! It ripped! Who folded this thing? (reading) “Made especially for Amelia Earhart by the men of Lockheed Corporation.” (screams as her plane plunges into the Pacific)

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