VACATE!

Comedy, by Ken Bradbury, 1997

This girl remembers the family vacations ... not all fondly. Dad seemed to have these 'ideas' about what was interesting and fun.

Duration

8 - 10 minutes

    Cast Options

  • 1 Female

Product Id: #104

Price
$6.00
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An excerpt …

(Ahhh … summer vacation with the family.)

It was war.  There’s no other word for it.  All out war.  The lines had been drawn, the supplies we running low, the field was littered with casualties, and the hopes and dreams of a

lifetime lie shattered in the hot, August sun.

That’s why I love family vacations.  They’re so much fun.

Mark Twain said that “The only way to find out if you really love or hate a person is to take a trip with ‘em.” That’s how I found out I loved my family.  When we take a vacation, we  make the Simpsons look like Baptist missionaries.

(Woops … the brother is along.)

My brother, Teddy, should be locked up.  When he was six years old, I was given 60 days to live.  They sent him to camp for two months.  I’ll give you a minute ... go ahead and think about that one.

I’m not sure why my folks even had Teddy.  I guess they loved children and they would have given anything if he had been one.  Teddy isn’t exactly the missing link, but he’s definitely one of the weakest.  When we watch the Wizard of Oz, Teddy roots for the Witch.  Other boys have dogs and hamsters for pets.  Teddy has a leach.  Need I say more.

(Lots of highlights on the trip.)

Dad prepares for a trip like General Patton invading France.  Road maps, driving strategy, miles per gallon, hours between rest stops.  Of course, he never gives a thought to actually packing for the trip.  On our trip to New Orleans he left his glasses and watch at home but he knew exactly how many miles the twelve-year-old bladder could withstand in the Texas deserts. And you can’t sleep when dad is on vacation.

“Look kids!  This is Highway 59!  Good old Highway 59!”

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