UP, UP AND AWAY

Comedy, by Ken Bradbury, 2004

An obnoxious kid, a mother who doesn’t care, a man afraid of flying and his wife — sit next to each other on a plane. The kid generates the trouble but the man passenger has the last laugh.

The number and gender of characters can be changed to accommodate available participants. Price is for a master script. Make as many copies as is required for your ensemble.

Duration

12 minutes

    Cast Options

  • 3 Females, 2 Males

Product Id: #784

Price
$18.00
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An excerpt …

(time for boarding)

SEYMOUR: We gonna crash, Mom? We gonna crash and burn?

DORA: (showing complete disinterest) We can’t. Your Uncle Freeman is picking us up in Las Vegas at five.

SEYMOUR: Man, if we got a hole in this thing the pressure would suck in so fast our eyeballs’d pop out, then “Bam!” We’d go shootin’ right out through the side the plane.

DORA: Just don’t spill your drink, honey.

SEYMOUR: Cool! You can see Texas from here!

DORA: That’s the luggage truck, sweetheart. Have you seen my earplugs?

HARRY: (entering) I can’t do it! I’m tellin’ ya I can’t do it, Flora!

FLORA: Don’t be silly, Harry. It’s just an airplane! You’ve seen pictures of ‘em.

HARRY: But I ain’t never been on one! Flora, we can walk to Las Vegas. It’s only a few hundred miles. I feel great. Really!

(The kid meets “fear of flying.”)

SEYMOUR: (to Harry and Flora) You guys ever flown before?

FLORA: No, this is our first time.

SEYMOUR: You scared?

HARRY: Hit him, Flora. Jab him a quick one then look the other way.

FLORA: Harry!

SEYMOUR: Mom! The man’s being mean to me!

DORA: (still in half-slumber) That’s nice, dear. Drink your milk.

SEYMOUR: (to the couple) You ever see a plane go down?

HARRY: Hit him hard, Flora. Make it painful.

(revenge)

SEYMOUR: You got root beer?

HARRY: Always carry it with me. Special brand. Can you read?

SEYMOUR: Not too much.

HARRY: Good. Here. (hands him a bottle) It’s brand new … Super Root Beer!

FLORA: Harry, what are you doing? That’s your Ben Gay back ointment.

HARRY: Oh. (smiling) Must have read it wrong.

SEYMOUR: You mean I’m the first to try it? Cool! (unscrews the cap and takes a large swig,  then finally eeks out a…) Ma  … Ma! …

DORA: (half-asleep) Tell your Aunt Mildred I’ll call her back.

SEYMOUR: Ma … Ma!

FLORA: Harry, he’s choking!

HARRY: Ain’t it grand? Ain’t it grand?

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