Comedy, by Robert L. Crowe, 2011
A woman driver is the traffic cop’s worst nightmare.
Price includes 2 scripts.
Duration6 - 8 minutes
- 1 Female, 1 Male
Product Id: #306
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An excerpt …
(the officer approaches)
OFFICER: Good afternoon, ma’am. I’d like to know why you didn’t stop when I flashed the motorcycle lights at you.
DRIVER: I thought you were in a hurry to get someplace. I motioned for you to pass.
OFFICER: Yes, I saw that. What about when I turned on the siren? Did that give you a hint?
DRIVER: No. It gave me a headache. I only pulled over to ask you to turn it off.
OFFICER: (sighs) May I see your license?
DRIVER: It’s on the back of the car … just below the trunk.
(things go downhill)
OFFICER: Thank you. Now … about why I stopped you. Do you know how fast you were going?
DRIVER: Not exactly. I think my speedometer is broken. It says I was going 110.
OFFICER: Your speedometer showed 110 miles an hour?
DRIVER: Yes. It must be stuck. Here. Look for yourself. See. (points to dashboard) 110.
OFFICER: That’s your clock. It’s 10 minutes after one. You were going 25 miles an hour.
DRIVER: I didn’t think I was going very fast. I must say that I am very surprised you flashed those colored lights at me if I was only going 25 miles an hour. There were a lot of cars going faster than that. They were just whizzing by me.
OFFICER: The reason they were whizzing by you is that this road is an Interstate Highway. The minimum speed is 40 miles an hour. You were going 25 and everyone else is going 70. Why were you only driving 25?
DRIVER: Because that what the sign says … the speed limit sign says “25.” See, there’s a sign right there. 25. Maybe if you took off those sun glasses you could see better.
OFFICER: I’ll tell you what I can see. I have 25/25 vision. I can see that is a highway sign, not a speed limit sign. 25 refers to the highway. You’re on Highway 25.
(and get more difficult)
OFFICER: Yes. I wish that, too. Would you step out of the car please?
DRIVER: Is it OK if I slide out? It’s difficult to step out of these Convents.
OFFICER: The word is Corvette. The car is a Corvette. Step back here to the shoulder of the highway. This is a very fast sports car. Whatever possessed you to buy a car like this?
DRIVER: Oh, I didn’t buy it.
OFFICER: Did you steal it?
DRIVER: (laughs) Oh, no, silly. I won it at a church raffle. That’s why I thought it was called a Convent. I bought one ticket for a dollar and when they called my name, I said, “Holy ____ (she clamps her hand over her mouth as if to stifle a bad word). I wrestled the keys away from a little old nun and drove off into the sunset. Laid a strip 23 feet long, they tell me. These cars aren’t very tall but they leave a place very quickly.
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