Comedy, by Robert L. Crowe, 1994

A funny monologue of a boy trying out for a school play. Motive: to be a professional actor? Nope. It's to be near Emily Sue Fitzhaven. He is determined to use some scenes from Shakespeare to showeth his stuff!


8 - 10 minutes

    Cast Options

  • 1 Male

Product Id: #109

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An excerpt …

(A plot is afoot.)

This year I just have to get a part.  I know Emily Sue Fitzhaven will get the lead, and if I get a part that means that I will get to spend every evening for a month with her.  Well, not exactly with her.  I’d get to spend every evening near her.  That’s good enough ... So. I need to pick a scene ... a scene so ... so ... spectacular that the director will stop the try-outs, stand and applaud ... and yell “Bravo!” Hmmmmm.  It better be a real humdinger of a scene.

(He picks on Shakespeare.)

But maybe I’m not reading this right.  What if the director is looking for a mature, sophisticated leading man. (assumes a dignified, English-upper-crust stance and accent) “To be or not to be, thawt is the question.  Whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer ... (sniffs, but still in character) ... it is seldom noble to suffer” (drops character) Unless you’re a director and have to suffer through all these try-outs.

(Hail, Caesar!)

Yes!  Julius Caesar!  Great!  High name recognition.  Has a salad named after him.  Treachery of the grandest sort with murder in the marketplace.  This is the one!  Anthony’s funeral speech.  “Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears. (very brief pause while he mimes taking off ear and handing it to someone, then continues) I come to bury Caesar, not to raise him.” Whoa! (mumbles and reads along with finger pointing at book) Oh.  “I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him.” Oh, sure ... “for Brutus is an honorable man.  So are they all, all honorable men ...”( voice trails off) Yeh, well, with a group of buddies like that, who needs assassins


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