THE WIZARD

Comedy, by Robert L. Crowe, 2009

A person goes to the wizard for a simple request. But ... the request isn’t big enough.

Price includes 2 scripts.

Duration

8 - 10 minutes

    Cast Options

  • 2 Females
  • 1 Female, 1 Male
  • 2 Males

Product Id: #298

Price
$12.00
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An excerpt …

(You can’t just walk in to see the wizard

BARKER: Well … you’re next in line. But you have to go through the screening process.

WANTER: What’s the screening process?

BARKER: Me.

WANTER: Oh.

BARKER: I control the door. If I approve, then you get to go through that door.

WANTER: And then I get to see the wizard? Inside is the wizard?

BARKER: Inside is a committee.

WANTER: A committee? But, what’s that noise I hear when the door opens? It sounds like the committee is snoring.

BARKER: It’s chain saws. Workers are cutting down trees to make the paper to make the application for you to fill out.

WANTER: Oh, there’s an application?

BARKER: Yep. Proposals are limited to one tree person.

(Wanter has a simple request for the wizard.)

WANTER: Excuse me. I don’t want to start an airline. I have a simple request.

BARKER: OK. What is it?

WANTER: I want power.

BARKER: Power? You mean like a jet-ski or a Caterpillar road grader?

WANTER: No, personal power. (excited and emotional) I want to be in control. For all my life I have been a follower. Nobody asks my opinion about anything. Sometimes when I exert myself and give an opinion, people laugh at me. Do you have any idea how it is to go through life never getting to make the final decision? I’m not in charge of my life. Someone else is! Other people have (looking for right word) … sculptured what I am and who I am. I don’t care what I’ll be, I just want to have the personal power to make decisions and make pronouncements that other people will respect. Is that too much to ask?

BARKER: (pauses and considers) Yes.

(There are a variety of requirements.)

BARKER: That’s the spirit. Now. I need to know about your experience. Have you ever owned a business?

WANTER: Yes.

BARKER: Did it lose more than 50 million dollars?

WANTER: No.

BARKER: Sorry, then, chief. You don’t qualify.

WANTER: What? I don’t qualify? What do you mean?

BARKER: You must have had a business that lost more than $50 million to qualify for a gift from the wizard. What kind of business was it?

WANTER: I was in … Lemonade. Let me see if I have this right. You want me to ask for $14,000 a bicycle for 10 million people and I have to have lost over $50 million in a previous business to qualify?

BARKER: Exactly. And I thought you weren’t paying attention.

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