THE TALE OF THE DOG

Group - Comedy, by Ken Bradbury, 2016

A scene for two owners and their two dogs. Of course if dogs aren’t allowed at your speech tournament, two mangy actors will do just fine. The owners carry on their own discourse while the doggies do a tale of their own.

The number and gender of characters can be changed to accommodate available participants. Price is for a master script. Make as many copies as is required for your ensemble.

Duration

6 - 10 minutes

    Cast Options

  • 2 Females, 2 Males
  • 4 Males
  • 1 Female, 3 Males
  • 4 Females
  • 3 Females, 1 Male

Product Id: #863

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Price
$18.00
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dog on leash

An excerpt …

Entering from opposite directions, Mrs. Prunty with her dog, Toby; and Miss Francis with her dog, Charlie. The dogs are on imaginary leashes. The parts may be played by either gender with a little switching of names and pronouns.

MISS FRANCIS: Good morning, Mrs. Prunty!

MRS. PRUNTY: Miss Francis! Good to see you!

(Toby and Charlie growl at each other.)

MISS FRANCIS: Toby! Be nice!

MRS. PRUNTY: Charlie, calm down. I just don’t understand why our dogs don’t get along, Miss Francis. We see each other every morning. (Charlie growls.) Charlie! Charlie, stop it!

MISS FRANCIS: (Toby growls.) Toby! Stop that! You know Charlie! Be a sweet boy.

(Both dogs start barking.)

MRS. PRUNTY: Charlie! Charlie, behave!

MISS FRANCIS: What’s the matter with you, Toby? I’m sorry, Mrs. Prunty. Toby gets like that sometimes. Say, did you read about that sale at the …

(And at this Miss Francis and Mrs. Prunty freeze in their positions. When the dogs speak the owners freeze, but when the owners speak the dogs become … well … dogs.

Later in the piece when the dialogue becomes more rapid, the owners do not freeze when the dogs talk.)

TOBY: (after a moment, looks at the owners, then speaks) So … how’s your morning?

CHARLIE: Oh, same old, same old. You get up, you scratch, you run around the yard and do your business. Then what’s-her-name says, “Let’s go for a walk, Charlie! Oh, aren’t you happy to go on a walk, Charlie!” All I know is that she’s getting her exercise while I’m missing Wheel of Fortune.

TOBY: Same here. She’s got no imagination. Hey … they’re gonna get suspicious. You ready?

CHARLIE: On three.

(The two dogs growl and go at each other, barely being held back on their leashes.)

MRS. PRUNTY: Charlie! Bad dog, Charlie!

MISS FRANCIS: Toby, I’ll take you home right now! I swear I will!

(The dogs calm a bit.)

MRS. PRUNTY: Miss Francis! That collar! Toby’s collar! That is the most darling thing I’ve ever seen! Where did you get it?

MISS FRANCIS: Ebay. I love pink.

MRS. PRUNTY: Oh yes, yes … pink highlights Toby’s eyes so beautifully!

(And the two owners freeze.)

TOBY: Pink. Yeah. Pink.

CHARLIE: I wasn’t gonna say anything.

TOBY: A pink collar! That’s what every German Shepherd wants is a stupid pink collar. You know Beelzebub?

CHARLIE: The cat?

TOBY: Yeah. The cat. The cat that keeps comin’ around tryin’ to steal my Kibbles and Bits. Usually I just growl at him and he jumps the fence, but yesterday … yesterday, Charlie, he looked at my pink collar and laughed. A cat laughed at me, Charlie! I just wanted to crawl up against a fire hydrant and die!

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