Comedy, by Robert L. Crowe, 2009

Student sounds like he is getting a top award. Come to find out, he’s only practicing.


5 - 7 minutes

    Cast Options

  • 1 Male
  • 1 Female

Product Id: #130

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An excerpt …

(Student says he is getting top award.)

While I have the microphone, I would beg a few minutes of your time to reflect upon my academic career. There have been some ups and downs and perhaps some of you choose to dwell on the negative, those of you who choose to look at the world as a glass 3/4ths empty instead of half full. Perhaps a note of explanation will help. First, there was the unfortunate incident about me not being able to get my locker open. Of course, the fact that I was inside the locker at the time added to my difficulty.

(There is also another incident.)

Perhaps the most surprised in this school about me receiving this top award are my classmates in Science class. I have explained numerous times that I was trying to create Eggs Benedict to serve as a mid-morning treat. However, I created a new learning situation. It would be many years before we would ordinarily learn how to make hydrogen sulfide gas…. H2S … for those who like crossword puzzles. The smell of rotten eggs would have been confined to the classroom if there had not been a strong wind from the south. I learned … we all learned … that hydrogen has many uses. I’m pleased to be part of your learning process, however uncomfortable it might have been for a few hours.

(In conclusion …)

Even though it may be disappointing to you, I will close now. Again, my appreciation for the life-sized statue and the nice plaque.  Coming to this award ceremony was optional and I’m flattered that the entire student body chose to attend. Thank you and good night. (Starts to walk away, then looks at audience) Practice makes perfect. Well, there you are. That’s my acceptance speech. Now … if I ever win anything, I’m ready.


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