THE PHANTOM HITCHHIKER
Comedy, by Ken Bradbury, 2004
The family is on a car trip and the father creates a story about a hitchhiker. Then — they pick up a stranger alongside the road.The number and gender of characters can be changed to accommodate available participants. Price is for a master script. Make as many copies as is required for your ensemble.
Duration8 - 10 minutes
- 2 Females, 3 Males
Product Id: #783
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An excerpt …
(A typical family vacation trip.)
SARAH: He’s on my side of the seat, Dad!
CHARLIE: It’s my side!
SARAH: Is not!
CHARLIE: Is too!
DAD: If you don’t’ stop whining I’ll give you something to whine about. (they quiet momentarily) There you go, Miriam. All you need is a little firmness. I wish you could learn that.
SARAH: Daddy he’s breathing my air!
CHARLIE: It’s my air!
SARAH: I breathed it first!
CHARLIE: Did not!
MOM: Anything else you want to teach me, Ralph?
SARAH: Are we about there, Daddy?
(Dad creates a story about a phantom hitchhiker.)
SARAH: (completely into this) Tell us, Daddy! Tell us!
DAD: Well, the wolves captured him as their slave. They gnawed on his ears and chewed on his toes … every year the toes would grow back and they’d chew ‘em off again. They say he still roams these hills looking for the family that left him. He’s looking for revenge.
MOM: (whispering) Ralph, please.
CHARLIE: (not completely buying all this but curious) You aren’t makin’ this up?
DAD: Why Charlie! If you don’t …
MOM: Look out, Ralph! There’s a man beside the road.
(Then, Dad stops and picks up a hitchhiker.)
SARAH: (screams, then) Daddy! He’s looking right at me! Daddy, make him stop! Make him stop!
MOM: Ralph, I hate to ruin your trip but I think we have a situation here. The man you just picked up is about to eat your daughter.
CHARLIE: Go for it, man! Go for it! (The Hitchhiker turns his head to look at Charlie.) Hey! Hey, man, I’m kiddin’! I’m just kiddin’! Dad, you gotta do somethin’! He’s lookin’ right at me, Dad!
DAD: Uh … something … you know … bothering you, mister?
HITCHHIKER: No like noisy children.
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