THE ADDRESS LABEL
Comedy - Duet, by Robert L. Crowe, 2019
Have you ever been transferred from department to department with no end in sight? Well it could be worse. They could all be the same person. This frustrated customer is in for the biggest customer service merry-go-round ever.
Price includes 2 scripts.
Duration6 - 9 minutes
- 2 Females
- 1 Female, 1 Male
- 2 Males
Product Id: #349
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An excerpt …
Characters (2): Bob, a caller; Pat, an employee of Universal Products
Note: The employee in the presentation does not play the parts of multiple characters. Part of the humor, if any, is that she is one person who fills multiple jobs within the company.
(At open, Pat puts on and adjusts a microphone headset. Bob is dialing a phone.)
PAT: (sounds like a recording) Hello. Welcome to Universal Products. Your call is very important to us. We answer calls in the order in which they are ordered. You are currently #33 in line.
PAT: 33. If you would like to continue to hold, press 1. If you wish to continue to hold but don’t like it, press 2. If you want to apply for a job, press 5. If you want to quit your job, press 7. For all other topics press 6 for customer service. To take a survey at the end of this call, press 13.
BOB: I just want to update my address, I guess I …
PAT: Press 6.
BOB: (surprised, looks at the phone, then presses 6)
PAT: Click. Click. Customer service.
BOB: Oh, hello. You sound just like the voice on the recording.
PAT: Yes, it is some type of magic. I don’t really understand it. How can I help you?
BOB: I need to update my address. I’ve moved.
PAT: Why did you move?
BOB: Why did I move? What difference does that make?
PAT: Maybe none. Answer me this. Did you move to avoid one of our sales consultants?
BOB: No. I don’t know any of your sales consultants.
PAT: Good. What is your customer ID, please?
BOB: I don’t know my customer ID. I didn’t know I had a customer ID.
PAT: Every customer has an ID. How do you expect us to ID our customers?
BOB: I can’t find my number. Is there some other way to access my account?
PAT: Yes, there’s the hard way. We can try to access the account by name.
BOB: Oh, sure. That’s good. (laughs) I know what my name is.
PAT: (Pat doesn’t laugh. There is a pause while Bob’s laugh fades.) What is your first name?
BOB: My first name? Don’t you mean my last name?
PAT: No. When I want that information I say things like, “What is your last name?” Now. Let’s try again. What is your first name?
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