Comedy, by Robert L. Crowe, 2006
A woman in the old west tries to hold-up a stagecoach.
Price includes 2 scripts.
Duration8 - 10 minutes
- 1 Female, 1 Male
Product Id: #284
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An excerpt …
(It’s a hold-up!)
GABBY: (shakes imaginary reins as if driving a team of eight.) Hee-yaw. Giddy-up there. We gotta be in Sacramento by next week!
ROCKY: (Rocky jumps out with a pistol pointed at Gabby) Halt! Or I’ll shoot!
GABBY: Whoa! (pulls on reins stop the horses, slows down somewhat) Whoa! I said “Whoa!”
ROCKY: Stop the horses or I’ll shoot you between the ears!
GABBY: I’m trying, I’m trying! Whoa! (finally in place) Whoa! There we are! Whata ya want?
ROCKY: (mumbles something that sounds like “robbery”)
ROCKY: (mumbles again)
GABBY: I cain’t understand ya. If you don’t speak-up I’m going to go on. Maybe if you take off the mask it would help.
ROCKY: (removes imaginary mask) I said, “This is a holdup!’ And I said it more than once! And I mean it!
GABBY: Why … why … you’re a girl!
ROCKY: You sound like my mother. I ain’t no girl. I’m a woman. W-O-M- (not sure how to spell it) M … O … N. Woman!
(The robbery isn’t going smoothly.)
ROCKY: (she holsters the gun) No, you … you … ninny! Throw down the strong box!
GABBY: I cain’t.
ROCKY: Why not?
GABBY: I ain’t strong enough.
ROCKY: (pause) What if I help you?
GABBY: Well, that’d be OK, I guess. If we get it down how are you gonna git it on your horse? That horse of your’s looks a little scrawny, anyhow.
GABBY: You’d be better off stealing the stage. That way you wouldn’t have to move the box until you get to your hideout. You got a hideout?
ROCKY: Not yet.
(Thoughts of retirement.)
ROCKY: Sounds peaceful and quiet.
GABBY: Sure, a robber with your experience may have problems giving up the wild life. You may have a period of withdrawal. No more runnin’ and saloons and wild days.
ROCKY: I jist found a bullet in my pocket. (She puts it in gun and points it at Gabby.) Git back up on that coach while I’m thinkin’. (he does)
GABBY: Well, how ‘bout it? Ya gonna take my offer? Settle down and raise some crops?
ROCKY: I reckon not. I think I’ll jist mosey into town and do some banking.
GABBY: How you gonna do some banking if you don’t have any money to deposit?
ROCKY: (smiles) Oh, I’ll think of somethin’. Now, git that team movin’ You’ve rested long enough.
GABBY: (flips reins) Haw! Git along, there. OK. See ya, cowboy!
ROCKY: (to audience) I should shoot ‘im but I need this bullet for my … withdrawal. (mounts horse and rides away)
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