Comedy, by Robert L. Crowe, 2006

A woman in the old west tries to hold-up a stagecoach.

Price includes 2 scripts.


8 - 10 minutes

    Cast Options

  • 1 Female, 1 Male

Product Id: #284

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An excerpt …

(It’s a hold-up!)

GABBY: (shakes imaginary reins as if driving a team of eight.) Hee-yaw. Giddy-up there. We gotta be in Sacramento by next week!

ROCKY: (Rocky jumps out with a pistol pointed at Gabby)  Halt! Or I’ll shoot!

GABBY: Whoa! (pulls on reins stop the horses, slows down somewhat) Whoa! I said “Whoa!”

ROCKY: Stop the horses or I’ll shoot you between the ears!

GABBY: I’m trying, I’m trying! Whoa! (finally in place) Whoa! There we are! Whata ya want?

ROCKY: (mumbles something that sounds like “robbery”)

GABBY: What?

ROCKY: (mumbles again)

GABBY:  I cain’t understand ya. If you don’t speak-up I’m going to go on. Maybe if you take off the mask it would help.

ROCKY: (removes imaginary mask) I said, “This is a holdup!’ And I said it more than once! And I mean it!

GABBY: Why … why … you’re a girl!

ROCKY: You sound like my mother. I ain’t no girl. I’m a woman. W-O-M- (not sure how to spell it) M … O … N. Woman!

(The robbery isn’t going smoothly.)

ROCKY: (she holsters the gun) No, you … you … ninny! Throw down the strong box!

GABBY: I cain’t.

ROCKY: Why not?

GABBY: I ain’t strong enough.

ROCKY: (pause) What if I help you?

GABBY: Well, that’d be OK, I guess. If we get it down how are you gonna git it on your horse? That horse of your’s looks a little scrawny, anyhow.

ROCKY: Hmmmmm.

GABBY: You’d be better off stealing the stage. That way you wouldn’t have to move the box until you get to your hideout. You got a hideout?

ROCKY: Not yet.

(Thoughts of retirement.)

ROCKY: Sounds peaceful and quiet.

GABBY: Sure, a robber with your experience may have problems giving up the wild life. You may have a period of withdrawal. No more runnin’ and saloons and wild days.

ROCKY: I jist found a bullet in my pocket. (She puts it in gun and points it at Gabby.) Git back up on that coach while I’m thinkin’. (he does)

GABBY: Well, how ‘bout it? Ya gonna take my offer? Settle down and raise some crops?

ROCKY: I reckon not. I think I’ll jist mosey into town and do some banking.

GABBY: How you gonna do some banking if you don’t have any money to deposit?

ROCKY: (smiles) Oh, I’ll think of somethin’. Now, git that team movin’ You’ve rested long enough.

GABBY: (flips reins) Haw! Git along, there. OK. See ya, cowboy!

ROCKY: (to audience) I should shoot ‘im but I need this bullet for my … withdrawal. (mounts horse and rides away)


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