SQUIRREL OBITUARY, THE

Serious, by Ken Bradbury, 1995

This is a subtle and tender portrait of a cleaning lady who loved squirrels. It made some people nuts …and caused her a few problems along the way.

Duration

8 - 10 minutes

    Cast Options

  • 1 Male
  • 1 Female

Product Id: #105

Price
$6.00
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SQUIRREL OBITUARY, THE

An excerpt …

(Know thy neighbor.)

Every time we get a new preacher I get this awful fear of dyin’ and lyin’ in wake at the hands of a fella who’s not sure what my name was.  That’s why I thought I’d write Della Dosier’s eulogy while she’s still around to hear it.  If her hammer gets tripped and the minister is new, he can always refer back to this speech.

(She won’t leave the squirrels alone.)

Her employer has warned her more than once about this.  The letter of reprimand read somethin’ like, “The reputation of our business rests on our professional cleaning service.  Any other activities which might otherwise detract from the purpose for which you are hired may damage our credibility as a reliable contractual business.” Interpreted that comes out to “Quit feedin’ the derned squirrels!  It makes us look bad.”

( A gentle spirit.)

I’ve known Della all my life and can testify that there ain’t a more gentle spirit on the planet.  A wiry little gal with salt and pepper hair and hands that’ve seen a lifetime of washin’ and polishin’.  When she does make that final trip down the church isle, there’s a lot worse that could be said about a person than “She fed the squirrels.” When her final bucket gets emptied, they’ll hire a new cleanin’ lady who will probably scrub ever bit as good as Della.  Nobody comin’ into their clean office the next day will even notice a change.  Nobody except the squirrels.

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