SO LONG, KITTY
Group - Comedy, by Ken Bradbury, 2015
So what do you do if your cat dies? You hold a funeral of course. In this case there is a happy ending!The number and gender of characters can be changed to accommodate available participants. Price is for a master script. Make as many copies as is required for your ensemble.
Duration7 - 10 minutes
- 2 Females, 1 Male
- 3 Females
- 1 Female, 2 Males
Product Id: #854
An excerpt …
(A scene for three actors; Carson, Lucy and Parker. A girl should play Lucy but the other two roles may be played by actors of either gender. Just tweak the personal pronouns to suit your cast.)
CARSON: (as Lucy and Parker stand to one side of Carson, solemn) Dearly departed, we are gathered here today to celebrate the life of our friend. … to put him into the ground … his final resting place. (Lucy begins to sniffle.) He was a good friend. We all loved him. (Lucy begins to sob quietly and Parker moves to comfort her.) He led a good life. For … (to Lucy) . . how old was he?
LUCY: (through her tears) Seven.
CARSON: For seven years he was with us. He ran with us; he played with us; he ate the scraps off our floor. (a pause, then) I can’t do this.
PARKER: You gotta!
CARSON: I cannot do a funeral for a cat! I feel silly!
LUCY: Bubba’s dead! You promised you would do his funeral! (She cries some more.)
CARSON: I’m sorry, Lucy. I really am. But I don’t think this is right. I mean, having a funeral for an animal. Can’t we just bury him and go have a Coke?
LUCY: How can you think of refreshments at a time like this?
CARSON: Hey, I can always stand a snack. Look, let’s just toss a little dirt onto the shoebox and call that a funeral.
LUCY: You promised, Carson!
PARKER: You promised!
CARSON: Okay! Okay! Dust to dust, ashes to ashes, hairballs to hairballs …
CARSON: He ran! He jumped! He chased laser pointers! He chewed the fringe off my dad’s easy chair and got a swift kick.
CARSON: What am I supposed to say about a cat? He spent the whole day sleeping and eating. What am I supposed to say about that?
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