Comedy, by Ken Bradbury, 2003

This is a farcical trip to a pet store. The store owner and a woman try to ride herd on two difficult kids and a lot of animals.

Price includes 2 scripts.


8 - 10 minutes

    Cast Options

  • 2 Females

Product Id: #262

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An excerpt …

 (a quiet shopping trip with the kids)

MRS. BREESE: But you have more than dogs, right?

MOLLY: I have nearly everything.

MRS. BREESE: So do I ... this is Ralphie and Louise. Ralphie wants a hamster. Louise wants to whine.

MOLLY: Right over here! Four different colored hamsters, Ralphie ... Here’s a white one, a black one, a spotted brown and white and ... uh … I’m not sure of this color. 

MRS. BREESE: What are their names?

MOLLY: Oh, I don’t name the hamsters, Mrs. ... uh …

MRS. BREESE: Breese. Mrs. Breese. Ralphie is the one holding the hamster and Louise is the one … Louise? I’ve lost Louise.

(Louis finds everything)

MRS. BREESE: (seeing something) Louise, you can’t have that snake! I hate snakes!

MOLLY: What snake?

MRS. BREESE: The one wrapped around Louise.

MOLLY: The boa! She’s in the cage with the boa?

MRS. BREESE: Ralphie, this is not funny. Your sister’s turning blue, Ralphie, and she’s clashing with her new pants outfit. You get more like your father every day.

(… including a large fish tank)

MRS. BREESE: She can swim. With a joker like little Ralphie you need to know how to swim. (tapping the tank) Just do sort of a backstroke over to the sand castle, honey. Then you can climb out. (noticing something out the door) There goes your cat. My, that is a very fast cat! (seeing something else) But she’s made lots of friends. They’re all running behind her. (looking up) How sweet! Your birds are joining in the chase. Ralphie, this is just like a movie, isn’t it?

MOLLY: (holding a very wet Louise by her collar) Come on honey, take a breath! Take a breath!

MRS. BREESE: At least your birds are all gone. Isn’t it great how things work out, Ralphie?

MOLLY: (to Louise) Are you all right, honey?

MRS. BREESE: Is she whining again?

MOLLY: Mrs. Breese, she nearly drowned!

MRS. BREESE: It’s always some little thing that sets her off


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