PAIRING UP

Comedy, by Ken Bradbury, 2004

Communication! Eight scenes depict historical couples — and their problem.

The number and gender of characters can be changed to accommodate available participants. Price is for a master script. Make as many copies as is required for your ensemble.

Duration

10 - 12 minutes

    Cast Options

  • 2 Females, 2 Males

Product Id: #786

Price
$18.00
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An excerpt …

(it’s communication, dummy.)

NANCY & BECKY: (speaking simultaneously, to the men) Is that all you have to say?

DAVID & KEITH: (simultaneously) What do you mean by that?

NANCY & BECKY: Is that all you have to say?

DAVID & KEITH: Look, why do we always have to discuss things? Why can’t some things just go un-said?

NANCY & BECKY: Men! If you could just say what’s on your mind!

DAVID & KEITH: Women! Everything has to be discussed!

NANCY & BECKY: And what’s wrong with that? Women want honesty! If you feel something, then you should say so!

DAVID & KEITH: Says who?

NANCY & BECKY: History!

(Ken and Barbie had a brief chat …)

DAVID: Everything’s perfect about you, Barbie. Your hair is perfect; you have perfect eyes, perfect feet, perfect figure.

BECKY: Yes. Yes I know, Ken. I am perfect. And the perfect girl needs … well ... you know.

DAVID: The perfect guy! That’s me!

BECKY: Not exactly. I want to tell you about Blaine.

DAVID: The guy who talks like a crocodile hunter and rides surfboards?

BECKY: He’s Australian, Ken. They do that down there.

DAVID: But … I mean …We’re Barbie and Ken! That’s like Adam and Eve and Sonny and Cher … uh … Peanut Butter and Jelly! Barbie! We’re the perfect match!

BECKY: In your dreams, doll boy. Blaine talks to me.

A  little-known scene from Star Wars …)

BECKY: (shouting as she turns) Hans? Oh Hans?

DAVID: Yes, Princess Lea?

BECKY: Hans, I just heard the vicious rumor that Darth Vader is your father!

DAVID: Yes, Princess Lea.

BECKY: Why didn’t you tell me?

DAVID: I didn’t think it was important.

(and Napoleon…)

DAVID: (trying to remain calm) I want my horse.

BECKY: Good. He’s in the stable. I washed him and checked the oil. You can do something for yourself.  You know, you can ride, fight and conquer but as a husband you are lacking.

DAVID: That’s of no concern. I am Napoleon!

BECKY: I know. I’ve stitched it into all your shirts. Please … just for once, let’s just talk!

DAVID: I don’t have time. I must conquer Asia this morning.

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