ON THE BRINK

Comedy, by Robert L. Crowe, 1995

An Okapi and a 'roommate' discuss their endangered species status. Funny and environmentally correct with a surprise twist.

Price includes 2 scripts.

Duration

8 - 10 minutes

    Cast Options

  • 2 Females
  • 2 Males

Product Id: #219

Price
$12.00
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An excerpt …

(A day at the zoo.)

ALBERTA: (singing some tune) It’s a lovely day today, and whatever you got to do, it’s  a lovely day to ... (there is a commotion outside and we hear ... )

DONNA: I resent this type of treatment!  Hey, no need to push.  I’m going in!  I’m going in!

ALBERTA: Whoops, so much for the single supplement.  Looks like I’m getting a roommate.

DONNA: (brushing self off) Everybody’s so crass these days.  There’s no one left but me who has any manners. (sees Alberta) What are you staring at?

ALBERTA: Hey!  Hakuna Matata, baby.  I’m starin’ at nothin’.  Just ... nothin’!

(Meet your roommate.)

ALBERTA: Well, I’m a little slow getting started but after my pump is primed I make up for it.  A lot of the others jokingly say it was my conversation that really killed the aardvark.  But, anyway, I have a delightful sense of humor ... that the aardvark didn’t appreciate.  Try these for instance ... What do you get when you cross an aardvark with a heater?  An antheater!  Get it?  An antheater!  Well, the aardvark didn’t think that was funny ... and that was one of my better ones.  I got a million of ‘em.

DONNA: I think I get the picture.

(It’s a place for the extinct.)

ALBERTA: Everything.  Trappers, famine, polluted water (looks out bars and yells at the African Wild Dogs) ... and WILD DOGS!!!  I was lucky to get here at all.  Say ... I’ve never seen one of you up close before.  Aren’t you ... a ...

DONNA: ... a people, yes.  But I ... I never expected to end up here.

ALBERTA: Really?  Doesn’t surprise me a bit.  You got all the rest of us extinct.  It was just a matter of time before you got here.  What’d you expect?  Killing, water pollution, air poisoning, soil erosion no appreciation for animal rights, or lefts.

DONNA: I ... we didn’t mean to ... (pause to listen) What’s that laughing?  Who’s laughing at me?

ALBERTA: It’s the hyena next door.  Oh!  Oh!  You know what you get when you cross a hyena with a vampire?  You get a monster who snickers at the sight of blood!  Get it?

DONNA: (looks around slowly, thinking) Yes.  Yes.  It’s a little late.  But I think I get it.

(As Donna turns and walks off, Alberta follows her saying ...

ALBERTA:    So I told the aardvark, I said, “With your family tree, the best part is underground!”... Get it?  Huh?  Get it?

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