OH DAD, POOR DAD, YOU’RE UP A TREE AND WE FEEL SO BAD
Comedy, by Ken Bradbury, 2012
A man quits trying to raise children and one morning climbs up into a tree and refuses to come down. He is in his pajamas with his family trying to talk him down … then a school bus full of kids pulls up …The number and gender of characters can be changed to accommodate available participants. Price is for a master script. Make as many copies as is required for your ensemble.
Duration7 - 9 minutes
- 2 Females, 1 Male
Product Id: #838
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An excerpt …
(Dad has had it up to here!)
RALPH: (standing in his “tree”) I’m not comin’ down and nobody can make me!
BETTY: (turns to audience, on phone) Yes, he’s been there all morning. No, Gail, I have no idea why he’s in that tree.
RALPH: Don’t even try to get me out of this tree!
BETTY: I don’t know. He had his usual corn flakes, drank his coffee, then climbed up into the tree. He’s shouting at the traffic but thank goodness no one’s paying much attention.
RALPH: I am the master of this tree! Woe unto those would approach my fortress!
BETTY: Maybe it’s stress. He did toss and turn all night. I’ve put him on decaf but that didn’t seem to help.
JENNIFER: (entering) Mom, why is dad in the tree?
BETTY: (into the phone) I’ve got to go, Gail. Somebody’s got to explain to Jennifer why her father’s gone loony. (she hangs up) I don’t know, Jenny. Maybe he’s just kidding around.
RALPH: I am not kidding around! I’m going to stay here until I die or the world ends whichever comes first.
(The daughter steps in.)
BETTY: He likes you. You’re his daughter. Fathers like daughters. It’s genetic.
JENNIFER: But people will see me talking to a man in a tree.
BETTY: Like they’re not noticing already? (looking out the window) Goodness. Look at the cars. Your father’s drawing a crowd.
RALPH: (shouting) Go ahead! Stare! Stare! This is what it’s come to!
JENNIFER: What’s he talking about?
BETTY: I have no idea. But I do wish he’d keep his backside pointed away from the traffic. (moving Jennifer to the “door”)
Go on … see if you can talk him down.
(A father daughter bond is formed.)JENNIFER: No! (to Ralph) But Dad … I mean, these things just happen.
RALPH: But why do they happen, Jenny? And why do they happen so fast? We used to eat supper together. Now, we grab a sandwich and jump on our computers or take off to a ballgame. You used to sit on my lap on Sunday morning and I’d read you the comics and now you check your instant messages while Mom goes to tan, and I sit there playing with the cat.
JENNIFER: We don’t have a cat.
RALPH: See how bad it’s getting? I’m playing with a cat who’s not there. I don’t want to cause anybody any trouble, honey. I’m not going to blow up a building or lead a protest march. I’m just going to sit in this tree. (patting the branch) This tree understands me.
JENNIFER: Know what?
JENNIFER: I don’t think you’re crazy at all.
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