Comedy, by Ken Bradbury, 2006

A student gets a new car that has a talking computer. It really talks.

Price includes 2 scripts.


8 - 10 minutes

    Cast Options

  • 2 Females
  • 1 Female, 1 Male
  • 2 Males

Product Id: #276

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An excerpt …

(first drive)

CARLYLE: (in an ominous tone) Fasten your seatbelt.

BAILEY: What? Oh. I guess it talks to you. (Bailey fastens belt, then begins to turn the key again.) Here we go!

CARLYLE: Your seatbelt is twisted.

BAILEY: (stops) Huh? (looks at his/her seatbelt) Oh. Gee ... thanks. This is weird. I’m already talking to my car. (in a mock-computer tone) “I hope I’m ready now.” (begins to turn the key)

CARLYLE: You are.

BAILEY: (stops …this is something new … the car can hear him) Wow. Now that’s weird. (moves gearshift and takes off) (singing) I’m “on the road again!”

CARLYLE: Destination?


CARLYLE: What is your destination?


CARLYLE: Where are you going?

BAILEY: I … I don’t know. I’m just gonna drive around. It’s a new car. I want to show it off.

CARLYLE: That is not a valid destination.

(the help gets irritating)

BAILEY: Look, you want to drive?

CARLYLE: Please proceed with caution.

BAILEY: I know. I’ll turn up the radio and drown out that voice. (reaches for the radio)

CARLYLE: Which station do you wish?

BAILEY: I don’t know. You mean you switch the stations for me?

CARLYLE: Your Honda-Yota is equipped with XM Radio. Please select a station.

BAILEY: Something loud.

CARLYLE: Twenty-three percent of teenage automobile accidents are caused by drivers distracted by loud music. I shall now select Beethoven’s Symphony Number Seven in A-Major.


CARLYLE: The posted speed limit is 35 miles an hour! You are now approaching 37!


CARLYLE: The water is now reaching two feet on the driveway!

BAILEY: See if I care!

CARLYLE: You just ran through a yellow light!

BAILEY: I like the color!

CARLYLE: Your seat belt is twisted again!

BAILEY: It's stylish!

CARLYLE: You're going to overload my systems!

BAILEY: I know! I know!

CARLYLE: You must stop the vehicle immediately! I'm about to ... I'm about to ...

BAILEY: Do it! Do it!


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