Comedy, by Ken Bradbury, 2006

New owners have to wait tables in their international restaurant. A famous food critic is their first customer.

The number and gender of characters can be changed to accommodate available participants. Price is for a master script. Make as many copies as is required for your ensemble.


8 - 10 minutes

    Cast Options

  • 2 Females, 1 Male
  • 3 Females
  • 3 Males
  • 1 Female, 2 Males

Product Id: #801

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An excerpt …

(all of the waiters are late)

PEYTON: We can’t cancel the grand opening! The city’s most important food critic will be here any minute! You want her to write, “The Café International, the first restaurant in the city to give you a choice of three different nationalities, now gives you a fourth choice: stay home.” That’ll kill us!

MICKY: Then what’ll we do?

PEYTON: We can wait tables.

MICKY: We had six waiters! Two for each type of food!

PEYTON: We’ll move fast.

MICKY: We’ll what?

PEYTON: Move fast. She’ll never know. We’ve got all those waiters’ outfits in the backroom and we can … I don’t know... change our hairstyles … add a moustache ... something.

MICKY: But …

(the restaurant has different international sections)

DORIAN: I’d like to try your Mexican cuisine.

MICKY: Oh, no.


MICKY: I mean. O ... le! Ole! (shouting off to Peyton) The Café Sombrero! (Micky begins singing or humming a Mexican tune as he escorts Dorian in a small circle and Peyton dashes out to rearrange the table, indicating another section of the restaurant.) Bueno! Bueno! Please, senorita, take this seat. (grabbing a menu) Your menu. Your waiter will be right with you. (running back to Peyton) Find something?

PEYTON: (putting on an imaginary costume) Is she going to try every room in the restaurant?

MICKY: Who knows? You ready?


(they see the review)

MICKY: (taking a paper from the machine and reading) “The Café Internationale opened last evening to what was surely the most unusual experience this town has ever seen. The food was passable, (Peyton groans) the décor was certainly one of a kind (Peyton groans again) but the waiters (Peyton groans and drops to his knees.)… Well, if you want an entertaining evening, you should bring your whole family to watch two of the biggest clowns to ever start up a restaurant. In a word, they are hilarious. Frankly, I didn’t even notice the food. I was too busy watching the floor show put on by two of the most talented idiots in the food business. Run, don’t walk to the Café Internationale for one of the most enjoyable evenings of your life! But don’t order the nacho dip. It tastes like insecticide.” We did it! Oh my gosh, we did it!


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