Comedy, by Ken Bradbury, 1994

Who is the most exciting hero to many damsels in distress? It is Scott, at least in his own mind. Swashbuckling pirates and knightly knights abound as our hero imagines winning a date with the school heart-throb.

Price includes 2 scripts.


8 - 10 minutes

    Cast Options

  • 1 Female, 1 Male

Product Id: #218

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An excerpt …

(Getting up the nerve.)

BRAD: (pacing a little, very worried) Aw man, man, man.  Two days.  Two days and it’s gonna happen.  Everybody set but me.  I know they’re talkin’ about me.  Imagine, the only eighth grade boy without a date to the junior high dance.  Nearly all the good ones are already gone.  Except for her.  She’s probably turned down every other guy.  Man, why do I have to be such a dork?  Just once, just once, why couldn’t I be the one to get a date with her ... head cheerleader, cutest girl in the junior high.  Man, why do I have to be such a dork?  Guys in the old days... they had it made.  Guys like the pirates.  All they had to do was to swoop in and scoop up a girl. (a new light comes into his eyes) Floating free over the bounding main ... (stepping up on table) ... sword on one hand ... trusty tabard in the other ... (looks at “other “ hand) ... wonder what that is ... (again, wide eyed) ... sailing over the salty seas ... Hardy, har, har maties, walk the bloody plank and give the sharks some supper while I sets me eyes on the bloody seas for a fair maiden.  A-HAH!  Lookee there, off in the distance.  I do believe I see a fair maiden held captive.

(His imagination …)

JODI: Oh, help.  Help!  Whoever hears this tender maiden’s voice, ‘ere they force

me to walk the plank!

BRAD: Black Bradley draws his fearsome sword!  He holds high his trusty tabard and ... and ...

JODI: Better throw it away if you don’t know what it is.  Might hurt yourself.

BRAD: He throws his tabard to the wind.  He jumps aboard the Jolly Roger.  He slashes Jolly.  He stabs Roger.  He fights his way (he does all this) through the hordes of vicious maiden-killers! (he backs into the table) He is wounded!  But, it does not faze him.

JODI: Meanwhile, Blackbeard forces her to walk the plank.

BRAD: (still fighting) He thrusts at their giblets, he drinks from their goblets ...

JODI: (getting irritated) Meanwhile, back at the plank ...

BRAD: Ah, yes!  The fair ...

JODI: Fair?

BRAD: Fantastic maiden calls him.

(They meet in reality.)

JODI: Oh, come on now.  Something’s wrong.

BRAD: Aw, it’s just me, Jodi.  I’m a failure.  All the other guys ... I don’t know.  They

know all the moves.  They get the good dates.  Always going steady.  I just ... I’m just ...

JODI: What?

BRAD: (blurting it out) I’m a nothing.  I don’t wear the right stuff.  I don’t get my hair cut the right way.  I don’t have the right friends I ...

JODI: Shut up.  Brad.

BRAD: What?

JODI: Just shut up a minute.  With this stupid dance coming up, I’ve heard so many fines in the last few days.  We got more fakes runnin’ around this school tryin’ to put on a big show.  You’re the only honest guy I’ve heard all week.  Those clothes and hair and “cool moves” make me sick.  All I want is just a nice guy who’s honest about himself.


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