JUST FOLLOW ME
Monologue - Comedy, by Ken Bradbury, 2014
Starting middle school can be a frightening experience unless you have this young man to show you the ropes. A whirlwind tour of the school by the least likely candidate for a tour guide.
Duration7 - 10 minutes
- 1 Male
Product Id: #141
An excerpt …
GUIDE: Okay … this way! Come on! Walk this direction! Hurry up! Welcome to Millard Fillmore Middle School. My name is Jarod and I’m your guide today. Next year you fifth-graders will be coming here and so I’m going to give you a tour of the place. I remember a long, long time ago when I was new here … huh? … I’m a seventh-grader now but time moves really slow in middle school. I remember when I was a scared little fifth-grader so I know what it feels like.
Okay, just follow me and stay really close. No, there’s nothing to be scared of. It’s just that if you get lost you’ll probably die.
Hey! Hey kid! There in the back! Stop talking and listen up. What’s your name? What? Could you spell that? Look, I’ll just call you Bob, okay? Look, just quiet down, Bob, and stay close.
Okay, boys and girls, this is the social studies room. What’s that? What a dumb question. It’s where they study socials. I can’t believe you guys made it to fifth grade. They draw maps and stuff, I think. I haven’t taken the class yet. But if you want to study socials, this is the place to go. Now just follow me. Hey Bob! Pay attention! No! No! Stay out of that side of the hallway. Stay in your lane. This is the side of the hall where kids go to class. It’s nice and slow. That other side goes to the lunchroom. You could get killed standing over there. Now follow me!
This is the math room. They do numbers and stuff in here. Is it hard? I’m not sure. I spend most of math class sitting out here in the hallway. Why? Because I’m thinking! That’s what you do in math class, you think. And I want to warn you, your answers have to be just exactly right in here. It’s not like English where you can be sort of close and get by. This teacher is really picky. It’s like she doesn’t want you to be creative. That’s why I spend most of math class sitting out here in the hallway. I’m a really creative person. Come … just follow me.
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