Comedy, by Robert L. Crowe, 1996

Ever wonder how some cab drivers get so difficult? One explanation is that there is a training session!

Price includes 2 scripts.


8 - 10 minutes

    Cast Options

  • 2 Males

Product Id: #217

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An excerpt …

(Oh, taxi!)

CHAD: Is this cab taken?

DUKE: No, that’s against the law. If ya take a cab yer gonna git arrested.

CHAD: Hey, can you give me a ride or not?

DUKE: Git in. (Chad does) You goin’ across the continent or jist in the area here?

CHAD: I’m going to the RegionalGovernmentConferenceCenter. How long will it take?

DUKE: Too …

CHAD: Two? Two what? Two minutes? Two HOURS? What …?

DUKE: Too long. How come all the obnoxious passengers end up in my cab?

CHAD: Maybe it’s nature’s way of trying to match someone with your personality.

(They seem to rub each other the wrong way.)

DUKE: Yeh. I used to be Speaker of the House … then I got married. (laughs) Ha! That’s a good one! “Then I got married!” Ha!

CHAD: I’m really surprised.

DUKE: Surprised? That I cracked a funny?

CHAD: No, surprised that anyone would marry you.

DUKE: (looks in rear view mirror) Hey, ya know, you could be with the government at that. Ya got a big mouth and ya don’t think before ya talk. What’s the deal, sport? I see ya got a  clipboard there, makin’ notes. What are ya doin … (exaggerating) writin’ a book on cabbie humor? You writin’ down all my jokes?

CHAD: Yes, I’ve written down all the funny ones.

DUKE: Yeh? Which ones?

CHAD: Well, none so far. And I’m sure I’ll run out of cab fare before you say something funny.

(Then we learn that the passenger is an instructor.)

CHAD: Well, there were a few good points and a number that need improving. (looks at clipboard) 1) When I made up the story about being a newspaper columnist, you immediately attacked newspapers. That was good. But then … 2) you stopped behind a pedestrian crosswalk. You had a good opportunity to stop on the crosswalk, and you didn't. That would have forced the pedestrians out into the flow of traffic. 3) You quit honking the horn when I asked you to. It would have been much more irritating to everyone if you had kept honking for a while even if there was no reason to do so. 4) Out of the blue, you initiated the conversation to criticize the government. That’s a popular tactic, but dangerous … and not devious enough. See … the passenger will probably agree with you. It’s better to ask what they think, then take the opposite point of view. That means you must be prepared to argue loudly on both sides of  any issue. 5) I like the way you glared at me in the rear-view mirror. Very intimidating. Finally … for a few brief moments you were a little too nice … but generally you’re sufficiently obnoxious in your demeanor.

DUKE: Yeh, I been working on that on my off hours. But … you can’t tell me if I pass or not?


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