I'LL BE WITH YOU SHORTLY
An excerpt …
(It isn’t easy being short.)
Go ahead. Admit it. You want to laugh, right? Don’t sit there with that look on your face trying to hide your smile. You think short people are funny. You think we’re cute. Some of you even think we’re cuddly. Very funny. Yeah, that’s a real ha-ha.
If I hear one more “short” joke, I’m going to …
Look, everybody’s born short. I mean, it’s like a necessity. The baby cribs are only this big. Does anybody walk into the maternity ward and shout, “Gee lady, your baby is really short! Are they cheaper?”
(Here’s the perspective.)
You tall people take things for granted. You just assume that when you stand in front of a mirror you can see yourself. I see the back wall. Every morning I put toothpaste on my brush then pretend I’m brushing the curtains.
I dread driving a car. They don’t make kiddie seats for the driver’s side. I’ll have to move the seat all the way forward and if the airbag goes off it’ll probably blow me through the back window.
Okay, there are some advantages to being short. When you fall down you don’t have far to go. When you do get up you’re practically there already. And short people hardly ever bump their heads. I mean, on what? Other people’s knees?
(Big finish, now.)
So here’s what I want to say, I guess. Tall world! Show a little respect! Don’t look down on us just because you have to look down on us! And watch where you’re stepping! There are people down here! And … (looks aside) uh-oh … the school bullies are coming. You guys are going to have to do the fighting. I’m gonna hide in my locker. Can you do that? (runs off)
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