HOLY MOSES

Comedy, by Ken Bradbury, 2006

Moses has an idea to use a tour company to cross the Red Sea.

Price includes 2 scripts.

Duration

8 minutes

    Cast Options

  • 2 Males

Product Id: #285

Price
$12.00
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An excerpt …

(This is probably how it happened.

JUBAYAH: (answering the phone at his desk) Pyramid Travel Agency. Jubayah speaking. Sorry, all our Nile cruises are booked. I’ve got an overnight excursion to Alexandria and a weekend package in Aswan, but the Nile’s overflowing with tourists this summer. I mean I’m flooded, buddy. Yeh. Thanks for calling.

MOSES: (entering) Uh … is this the tour company?

JUBAYAH: Pyramid Travel. Hope you’re not looking for a Nile trip.

MOSES: Nile? No … no. In fact, I want to get away from the Nile.

JUBAYAH: I don’t blame you. It’s gotta be a rat race down there this summer with the International Stone Rolling festival and the Pharaoh’s concubines all on vacation. So … where do you want to go?

MOSES: The Red Sea.

(How many are going on the trip?)

JUBAYAH: Two million people, their carts and donkeys and kids on a cruise around the Red Sea?

MOSES: Not actually around it … more like across it. We just want to get to the other side.

JUBAYAH: So … like … why don’t you just walk around it?

MOSES: We don’t have time.

JUBAYAH: Then why did you wait so long to book the tour?

MOSES: It just came up. Look, could you hurry? I’m in a bit of a rush.

JUBAYAH: Hey, it’ll take weeks for you to get all those people ready. What’s the hurry?

MOSES: Actually, they’re all waiting outside.

JUBAYAH: They’re what? (Jubayah goes to the window and looks out) Holy Moses!

MOSES: Thank you.

(They can’t get the cruise ships in time, so …)

JUBAYAH: Where are they going! Hey! Tell ‘em to stop! They can’t go marching into the sea like that! They’ll drown! They’re as crazy as you are!

MOSES: Yes. Yes, they are.

JUBAYAH: Holy Moses!

MOSES: Thanks again.

JUBAYAH: The sea! It’s … it’s drying out!

MOSES: Could use some rain. Have a nice day. (Moses exits)

JUBAYAH: Holy Moses!

MOSES: (shouting from offstage) Thanks again!

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