HI HO WHAT
Comedy, by Ken Bradbury, 2005
If the story of Snow White had gone like this, you may never have heard of it. One of the guys is “Snow.”The number and gender of characters can be changed to accommodate available participants. Price is for a master script. Make as many copies as is required for your ensemble.
- 5 Males
Product Id: #792
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An excerpt …
(well, there are 4 dwarfs)
GOOFUS: (the not-too-smart Dwarf) Are we home now?
DOOFUS: Of course we’re home, Goofus! Look! This is our kitchen.
GOOFUS: Wow. Just like we left it.
ELROY: Can I see her now? Can I? Can I? Huh?
RUFUS: (A very grumpy Dwarf) Would somebody shut him up? Let’s eat!
ELROY: Before we go in and look at her?
DOOFUS: You saw her last night, Elroy.
ELROY: But it was dark. She fainted outside our doorstep and we carried her in and put her to bed. It was so dark we couldn’t see anything.
RUFUS: What was the dame’s name again?
DOOFUS: Snow White.
RUFUS: What kinda name’s that?
(it’s show time!)
DOOFUS: Here she comes.
ELROY: The door’s opening!
DOOFUS: Atten-----tion! (And the Dwarves snap to attention.)
(Snow White, played by a male, enters. She opens the door, yawns in a very unladylike manner, then scratches herself. The Dwarves continue to stare forward. They have not seen her.) Gentlemen! Let us welcome our beautiful guest, Snow … (and the Dwarves turn to get their first look at Snow White. Their happy smiles turn to outright shock as they see this less-than-visage before them. Their heads slowly turn back and they look at one another in astonishment.) uh …White.
SNOW WHITE: (waves a tired wave) Yo. What’s up?
ELROY: (clutching his heart) Oh. My little heart is broken.
DOOFUS: Someone’s at the door.
SNOW WHITE: My friends.
RUFUS: Your friends?
SNOW WHITE: Yeh. You guys were so nice, I asked a few of ‘em over for lunch.
DOOFUS: Who are they?
SNOW WHITE: There’s Prince Shaky, the Cowardly; the Three Big Pigs; Ugly and the Beast; the Little Mermaid Who Can’t Swim, and my best friend Sleeping Homely. I told ‘em that if you took me in, you’d take anybody. (the Dwarves look at each other a moment) Come on, guys. You’re the nicest folks I ever met. Whatta ya say?
GOOFUS: (a pause, then) Do they like soup?
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