HEY, DUDE

Comedy, by Ken Bradbury, 2003

Two girls go to a dude ranch to bond with nature. Nature is OK but the horses and the woman in charge are problems.

The number and gender of characters can be changed to accommodate available participants. Price is for a master script. Make as many copies as is required for your ensemble.

Duration

8 - 10 minutes

    Cast Options

  • 3 Females

Product Id: #780

Price
$18.00
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An excerpt …

(welcome to the ranch)

NADENE: This place smells!

CALLIE: Nadene! She’ll hear you!

NADENE: I don’t care what she hears. Look at this. (reading) “Come and experience the adventure of a lifetime! The Savannah Sagebrush Dude Ranch where you’ll fall in love with the thrills of the Old West. Two delightful weeks of becoming one with your horse.”

CALLIE: (genuinely thrilled) Don’t you just love it, Nadene? Just think! Riding the mountain trails, cooking over an open fire, going to sleep watching the stars!

NADENE: It was either this or basketball camp and I can’t dribble. I’m gonna hate it. I know that already. I’m gonna hate it.

(just follow the simple directions …)

SAGEBRUSH: You then put your left foot in the stirrup.

NADENE: What’s the difference?

CALLIE: Please Nadene!

SAGEBRUSH: As I am doing right now! (she mounts Buster) See! Easy as cow pie! (laughs at her own “joke”)

CALLIE: Oh, this is so exciting!

NADENE: Left … right ... who cares? Nobody’s gonna tell me which foot to use. (Both Nadene and Callie mount up … Callie ends up facing forward and Nadene is now sitting backwards on her horse.) Why is everybody laughing?

CALLIE: (laughing herself) Anything look funny to you, Nadene?

NADENE: Yeh. Somebody stole my horse’s head. Hey! I got gypped!

SAGEBRUSH: Would the city slicker who’s facin’ her horse’s rear end wanna get off and start all over again.

(it’s gratifying to see the trail boss in trouble.)

SAGEBRUSH: (pulling back on her reins, fighting to hold a very disturbed Buster still) Hey! Don’t do that! Whoa Buster! Whoa Boy!

NADENE: Tally-Ho! (and she pops him again as Sagebrush tears off down the trail … actually, simply turning her back to the audience as she shouts)

SAGEBRUSH: Easy Buster! Buster slow down! Buster, the creek’s comin’ up! Buster!

CALLIE: (who’s brought her horse to a standstill near Nadene) Wow. That lady can really ride … oops … cancel that. I guess she can’t.

NADENE: She can ride, Callie. She just can’t duck. That was a low limb.

CALLIE: Did she fall off?

NADENE: Some of her did. Her right leg’s still in the stirrup. I told and told that woman ... get off on the left side … Whoa! I hope she can swim.

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