HAMS ON TOAST
Duet - Comedy, by Ken Bradbury, 2016
Left without a director, these two veteran actors must read aloud the stage directions along with their lines in a English drawing room murder mystery. For those who love wrapping their tongues around stiff British accents.
Price includes 2 scripts.
Duration7 - 10 minutes
- 1 Female, 1 Male
Product Id: #334
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An excerpt …
Faux British accents would be just dandy.
HERBERT: (entering) I say, where is everyone?
ESTELLE: (entering) Is he here yet?
HERBERT: Not a soul.
ESTELLE: Pity. We were to start rehearsal at two. Do you suppose something happened?
HERBERT: At the moment, nothing is happening.
ESTELLE: Here I am, the world’s most esteemed actor, and our director is missing.
HERBERT: Most esteemed compared to me, of course.
ESTELLE: But we go on in an hour. Word has it the Queen will be in attendance today.
HERBERT: Oh, it’s always someone, isn’t it? I hope she doesn’t bring her dogs.
ESTELLE: They cough.
HERBERT: Indeed. Coughing dogs. A bother.
ESTELLE: What say we go ahead?
HERBERT: Go ahead?
ESTELLE: Rehearse without him. Who needs a director when you have a living legend like me?
HERBERT: I’m sure you meant like me.
ESTELLE: Let us not quibble, Herbert. You know how quibbling disturbs my concentration.
HERBERT: I wasn’t quibbling, Estelle. You were the quibbler.
ESTELLE: You’re quibbling.
HERBERT: I’m not.
ESTELLE: Are so.
HERBERT: But who shall give us direction?
ESTELLE: My dear Herbert, the directions are in the script … or we can just make them up as we go along. Are you game?
HERBERT: Dashing idea, Estelle. Let’s do it!
ESTELLE: Indeed! From the top?
HERBERT: From the top! … and no quibbling.
ESTELLE: Wouldn’t dream of it.
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