GOING POLAR

Comedy, by Ken Bradbury, 2010

Two people go to the North Pole for a vacation. It unfolds just as you would guess.

Price includes 2 scripts.

Duration

7 - 9 minutes

    Cast Options

  • 2 Males

Product Id: #301

Price
$12.00
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igloo

An excerpt …

(A vacation to the North Pole?)

MADISON: This is nuts. This is so totally nuts! I said “a vacation!” … and here we are about to freeze to death at the North Pole.

OSCAR: Come on, Madison. We always take those boring vacations … to the beach, to the mountains …

MADISON: Beaches are good. You don’t freeze to death on beaches. Mountains are nice. No polar bears. This is the stinkin’ North Pole, you idiot! You said, “Look! An ad for ‘Extreme Vacations!’ Excitement! Thrills! Danger! All in one vacation package!” It didn’t say anything about frostbite and killer seals. We could die up here!

OSCAR: Yeah, but think of the great pictures we’ll get.

MADISON: Of death? Death is not a good picture, Oscar. It’s all out of focus. And I’ve heard it hurts.

OSCAR: Gimme a candy bar.

(Things are changing.)

OSCAR: (begins to crawl) Okay, if you’re gonna gripe, let’s go for help. (stops) I’m stuck. What’s the matter? I crawled in this igloo. Why can’t I crawl out?

MADISON: Because the igloo is melting, dummy. The hole is smaller ‘cause the whole thing is sinking.

OSCAR: So gimme a push.

MADISON: Where?

OSCAR: Out.

MADISON: I mean …

OSCAR: Push! Just push!

MADISON: (pushing against Oscar’s rear) Are you trying? Come on! Help a little!

OSCAR: I can’t help! I’m stuck.

MADISON: Well suck it in or something! I can’t …

OSCAR: (with a loud “Oomph” he goes flying out into the snow) That hurt.

(The situation gets worse.)

OSCAR: You can’t die. We’ve got five days of vacation to go.

MADISON: It’s not polite to talk to the dead. Go play on an iceberg. I’m busy dying.

OSCAR: Would it make a difference if I told you there’s a polar bear coming our direction?

MADISON: You fooled me into this stupid death-causing vacation. Don’t think I’m going to believe any more stories.

OSCAR: He’s really very large … and looks hungry.

MADISON: Look at my mouth, Oscar. I’m not laughing. No ha-ha. This is the frowning mouth of a man trying his best to freeze to death. Now leave me alone. Go eat some snow.

OSCAR: And he’s getting very close.

MADISON: I’m not listening.

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