GIVE ME AN M
Comedy, by Robert L. Crowe, 2009
A girl begins and ends by saying she loves her mother. In between, she tells of some of her mother’s antics.
Duration5 - 7 minutes
- 1 Female
Product Id: #131
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An excerpt …
(She wants everyone to know that she loves her mother.)
Why would someone like … moi (mwah) … it’s French … stand up in front of a group of complete strangers … well, of course, I know some of you … you’re not strangers, you’re strange but I know who you are … but that’s not the point. Why would someone stand in front of strangers and say something like (exaggerated, deep voice) “I love my mother” but not be willing to say it directly to her? I don’t know … but it happens a lot. I’ve heard of people who travel on buses, or trains, or planes who will pour out their life stories to a stranger sitting next to them. They will tell the combination to their safe and the three digit code on the back of their credit card.
(She never knew what to expect from her mother.)
I wanted to take Home Economics in school so I asked her to show me how to cook. She said she’d love to. When I started to put on a apron, she said “You won’t need that. Get a raincoat.” “What for?” I asked. She said that she had installed a sprinkler system in the oven to help put out the fires, and she didn’t want me to get wet. One day she prepared a big meal with a roast, and salad, and potatoes and vegetables. She told me she called it her “Russian Roulette Meal” … because, “You never know which dish is going to get you.” Her idea of an exotic meal was to add oregano to a TV dinner.
(In conclusion, she wants everyone to know how she feels.)
I must be getting older because I finally had a smart thought. No one has a perfect life. The secret is to look at what we have and hug everything that is good. I haven’t learned to be a great chef, or a great housekeeper or a great bowler but I don’t think anyone has had more fun growing up than I have. But most significant … I have learned that I am surrounded with love and that’s the most important ingredient. So … at my very mature age of 15 (use your age) the only thing I can think of to say is (loud) Give me an M! (medium volume) Give me and O. (quietly) Give me an M.
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