FAMILY COURT

Comedy, by Ken Bradbury, 2011

A complaining son is brought to family court — conducted by his family.

The number and gender of characters can be changed to accommodate available participants. Price is for a master script. Make as many copies as is required for your ensemble.

Duration

8 - 10 minutes

    Cast Options

  • 3 Females, 2 Males

Product Id: #830

Price
$18.00
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An excerpt …

(court is now in session

     PHYLLIS: (barging in, loudly) All rise!

     MARK: What?

     PHYLLIS: The 2nd District Court of the 3rd Jurisdiction of the 4th Sub-category will now come to order! The Honorable Judge James Papa presiding! (to Mark, who’s sat during this) I said, “All rise!”

     MARK: (standing quickly) Mom! What’s going on?

     PHYLLIS: Out of order! Here comes the judge! (James enters and takes a seat at center) Be seated! (to Mark) I said be seated!

     MARK: Mom? Dad? What are you guys doing?

     PHYLLIS: You will address His Honor as Your Honor.

     MARK: You mean Dad?

     JAMES: I’ll hold you in contempt, young man!

(the charges …)

     PHYLLIS: The estate is counter-suing the Son for being a lazy, irresponsible, whining pain in the neck.

     JAMES: How to you plead?

     MARK: (standing) I didn’t do it!

     JAMES: That’s what they all say! Sit down! (Mark sits) Call your first witness.

     PHYLLIS: I call Hannah the Sister to the stand. (Hannah enters)

     MARK: (standing) Hannah!

     JAMES: Sit …

     MARK: … down. (he sits)

     PHYLLIS: Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help you or we’ll take away your cell phone?

     MARK: Huh?

     HANNAH: I do.

(hard to believe)

     MARK: I’m going crazy!

     PHYLLIS: He’s pleading insanity!

     JAMES: You can’t plead insanity! That’s nuts!

     MARK: I give up.

     PHYLLIS: You plead guilty?

     MARK: No … I’m … I’m just confused.

     JAMES: Call your next witness!

     PHYLLIS: I call … Ralph!

     MARK: Ralph? He’s our dog!

     PHYLLIS: Here, Ralph!

     JAMES: Here, Ralphie! Here boy! (whistles and Ralph comes bounding in and takes the witness chair as Hannah moves away)

     PHYLLIS: Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help your Alpo?

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