EXIT STAGE RIGHT
Comedy, by Ken Bradbury, 2009
Two actors try to audition for a very strange director. It is difficult to know what to do next.The number and gender of characters can be changed to accommodate available participants. Price is for a master script. Make as many copies as is required for your ensemble.
Duration8 - 10 minutes
- 1 Female, 2 Males
Product Id: #822
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An excerpt …
(the two actors have just met and have to audition)
MICHAEL: We go on in five.
VANESSA: You’re kidding! Five minutes! We have only five minutes to rehearse?
MICHAEL: Vladimir believes that too much preparation ruins a performance. He also writes the paychecks.
VANESSA: Gimme the script. (he hands her a script) (reading) “The stage is dark. There is no scenery. The audience area is fully lit but the entire play takes place on a dark stage.” This is nuts! Who wrote this?
MICHAEL: Vladimir writes his own stuff.
VANESSA: (reading) No costuming, no set, no entrances, and … what? “Actors should not be limited to only the words written in the script. Animal sounds are appropriate.” Nuts … the guy is a loony.
(enter, the director)
MICHAEL: Mr. Stanislisky!
VLADIMIR: Vladimir, dear boy. Call me Vladimir. The audition will now begin! Go! (he sits)
VANESSA: But … Mr. …
VLADIMIR: Vladimir! Call me Vladimir! Or Harold. Harold is a nice name. Or Butch. No, not Butch. Begin!
MICHAEL: But we’ve just …
VLADIMIR: Theatre is an art, dear boy! Stop being so hypothetical! So anti-climactic! Emote! Live in your space! Become one with this world I have created.
(this is not your usual audition technique)
MICHAEL: Did I miss something?
VLADIMIR: The stage directions! You’re not reading the stage directions!
VANESSA: We read the stage directions?
VLADIMIR: Why do you think I wrote them?
MICHAEL: But … out loud?
VLADIMIR: Are you ashamed of them?
MICHAEL: No! No … you have … uh … quite lovely stage directions.
VANESSA: Some of the nicest I’ve ever … uh … read aloud.
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