DOOMSDAY

Comedy, by Ken Bradbury, 2003

A person on a street corner is approached by another person who warns of the end of the world. The message is so convincing that — the two change places.

Price includes 2 scripts.

Duration

8 - 10 minutes

    Cast Options

  • 2 Females
  • 1 Female, 1 Male
  • 2 Males

Product Id: #264

Price
$12.00
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An excerpt …

(Taylor is trying to catch a bus to get to work)

RILEY: Devastation! Ruin! The end of all things as we know it!

TAYLOR: (still frightened, manages to produce a weak smile, a small laugh, then as he moves away) … uh ... Have a nice day.

RILEY: Don’t take another step! (Taylor freezes) Carest thou not that you are about to witness the end to all living things?

TAYLOR: Are you going to hurt me? If you’re going to hurt me, I have to warn you, I’m a bleeder. You’ll get all messy.

RILEY: Woe until thee oh thou who heedest not this warning!  See-est thou not the destruction that is rushing toward us?

(Taylor has some suggestions about being more persuasive)

TAYLOR: (rising) Look, I don’t want to tell you how to your job …

RILEY: (a beat, then) … but?

TAYLOR: But ... well … you could use a few tips.

RILEY: Tips? You give me tips? How ridiculous! (a long beat as he reconsiders, then) What sort of tips?

TAYLOR: Well, for one thing … your method.

RILEY: What’s wrong with my method?

TAYLOR: This whole bit about shouting in people’s faces. You know, that’s no way to win friends.

RILEY: You think I shout too much?

TAYLOR: Yes. You shout too much. Any shouting is too much and you do a lot of it.

(Riley decides to go to work and leave the doomsday business to Taylor)

TAYLOR: Sure! Calm down! Calm down! The world’s going to pot and he tells me to calm down! (grabbing Riley again … now in hysteria) How can I calm down when the entire world is crashing down around me!

RILEY: (jumps out of the way and looks up) Where?

TAYLOR: (screams as he goes to his knees and holds his head) Oooohhhhh!

RILEY: Where did you say you worked?

TAYLOR: Acme Envelopes … but I quit! I quit! I give up on the entire human race!

RILEY: That’s on 45th street?

TAYLOR: Yes! Yes! But who cares anymore!

RILEY: And this is the bus to 45th street. I’ll bet they’re hiring today.

TAYLOR: Who cares! Oh, who cares?

RILEY: Look, I’ve got to run. It’s been nice chatting. Uh ... is that your lunch?

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