DEATH OF THE THEATRE

Humorous, by Ken Bradbury, 1997

The Hardy Boys go in search as to why theatre seems to have met an untimely death. From Medea to Kabuki — from Nancy Drew to Broadway.

The number and gender of characters can be changed to accommodate available participants. Price is for a master script. Make as many copies as is required for your ensemble.

Duration

20 - 25 minutes

    Cast Options

  • 44 Characters

Product Id: #756

Price
$25.00
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An excerpt …

DIONYSUS: (slaps Aphrodite) My Husband!  Theatre!  He’s been killed!  Look!  There he lies on the stage floor!  Murdered!

APHRODITE:            Theatre is dead!

DIONYSUS: Dead!

CHORUS: Dead!

APHRODITE: Who’s that?

DIONYSUS: That’s our Greek Chorus.  I take them everywhere.

CHORUS: Everywhere.  We are the chorus.  We speak in unison.  Go figure.  But we are the chorus. Never leave the theatre without us!

(Enter the detectives.)

FRANK & JOE: We’re the Hardy Boys!

CHORUS: Brought to you by Wonder Bread!  Building strong bodies, twelve ways!  Yeh!

DIONYSUS: What?

FRANK: Hey!  Nice sweater, Joe!

JOE: Hey!  You too, Frank!  Let’s solve a crime!

FRANK: Great, Joe!  Which one?

DIONYSUS: Oh!  Oh!  Oh!

JOE: Sounds like a crime, Frank!

CHORUS: Duh.

FRANK:         I love the sound of that, Joe!  “Crime!  Crime!  Crime!”

DIONYSUS: Oh!  Oh!  Oh!

(They travel throughout history to find why Theatre died.)

MARC ANTONY: Friends!  Romans!  Countrymen!  Lend me your ears!  I come to bury Caesar,not to praise him!  The evil men do lives after them!  The good is oft interred with their bones!

CAPTAIN KIRK: Come one, Bones!  You’ve got to cure him!

DR.  MCCOY: Remember, Jim.  I’m a doctor, not a Roman Undertaker!

JOE: I’m getting that funny feeling again, Frank!

FRANK: Same here, Joe!  Another crime!  Excuse me, we’re Frank and Joe Hardy!  The Hardy         Boys! We live in Bayport, a small but thriving city of fifty thousand inhabitants ...

MARC ANTONY: What?!

FRANK: ... located on BarmetBay.

MARC ANTONY: Cassius?

CASSIUS: Yes, Marcus!

MARC ANTONY: Brutus!

BRUTUS: Yes, Marcus!

MARC ANTONY: What thinkest thou of these?

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