COMPLETELY MALLED

Comedy, by Ken Bradbury, 2003

Three girls go to the opening of Mega-Mall. Two girls want to shop. The other has a plan.

The number and gender of characters can be changed to accommodate available participants. Price is for a master script. Make as many copies as is required for your ensemble.

Duration

8 - 10 minutes

    Cast Options

  • 3 Females

Product Id: #779

Price
$18.00
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COMPLETELY MALLED

An excerpt …

(here they are!)

VANESSA: Becky, it’s the world’s largest shopping mall and it’s opening right here in our town! You can’t pass that up ... it’s ... it’s like the creation of the world! And just think of the guys that’ll be here.

BECKY: A cap. I said I wanted a simple red cap. I can get one anyplace. Oh, geesh, just look at the size of this place. (turns to go) I’ll get my hat someplace else.

JAMIE: Hats, schmatts, baby! This is the world’s biggest mall. Look at the sign! “Welcome to Mega-Mall of America! Over 200 hundred square acres of paradise!” Did you hear that, Becky? Paradise!

BECKY: Chickens don’t like paradise.

VANESSA: Look girl, every guy in this part of the state is gonna be here today. Think of it! Instead of spending your whole life looking for a hot guy, you can stand right here and watch them parade by! It’s like looking through a catalog!

(Becky is afraid of escalators.)

VANESSA:    Okay. Where’s the elevator?

BECKY: I do don’t elevators!

JAMIE: Oh, get real!

BECKY: What if the cable breaks?

VANESSA: The cables never break!

BECKY: They do in the movies! And the car comes crashing down at a hundred miles an hour and people’s eyeballs roll up to the top of their head and their clothes come off and when you finally hit the bottom you’re as flat as a naked pancake and you’ve got to go home in a pizza box! Honest!

(her plan? There’s a TV station doing the filming.)

BECKY: (quickly) I couldn’t come right and tell you guys or you’d never do it, but I just couldn’t pass it up! Look, Jamie! A free shopping spree at the mall! All we had to do was act like the craziest shoppers in the mall and we win!

JAMIE: Becky!

BECKY: (still jabbering) ... and I knew you’d never agree to appear on television acting nutty so I …

VANESSA: This is gonna be on television?

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