CHIP OFF THE OLD BLOCK

Comedy, by Robert L. Crowe, 2001

Are you someone who has empathy for the problems of others? Here's a computer chip with the inside scoop.

Duration

8 - 10 minutes

    Cast Options

  • 1 Male
  • 1 Female

Product Id: #119

Price
$6.00
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An excerpt …

Hello. Meet “Chip”

You wouldn’t know me. I’m sort of like a manifold intake valve, or a Freon coolant modulator … those things you never see but are critical to the operation of a machine. I’m a computer chip. Yeh, I know I don’t look like you expected. Everybody tells me that. Well, Que sera, sera. (intentionally mispronounced as K-Sara, Sara.)

You know, we chips have a lot of pride. The “cutting edge of technology” and all. It’s a family thing. My great-great grandfather … before he was junked … was in an IBM 386. Very sophisticated for its time. Or, so the family album says. And, there are some .jpg (pronounced j-peg) pictures in the album of when Uncle Intel celebrated 100 megahertz. Quite a party … or so the album says.

Oh … Would someone watch the door? They really should have a password to get in.

And, a little bit of info about the “real” chip …

I went to computer school. You know my worst subject? Math. You know what I’m called upon to do all the time? Yeh … you got it. That’s somebody’s law… Archemedies or Arachnid … or somebody like that: The more you hate long division, the more you’re called upon to do it. Hey, I don’t mind adding up a few columns for anyone, but some of these clowns are trying to re-write Einstein’s Law of Collectivity.

Want some inside scoop?

Speaking of Memory. It does happen every once in a while that I can’t find something stored in memory. I just lose it. Sort of an electronic Alzheimers. No excuse. No explanation. It just happens. Let those of you who are without memory loss, take the first byte.

Warning! Warning! Warning! General Protection Fault. (smile) Ever get one of those? Let me give you the real scoop … what’s behind it. See, the electronic controller for the computer … the grand Poo-bah of the mother board … we call “The General.” She … that’s right … she, sometimes gets a headache because the inside of your computer is bombarded with these … kryptons … whatever. Anyway, when the traffic gets too heavy and she thinks she needs some protection from the work-load? She pulls the plug. She gets some protection … define that as … “rest.”  So, when you see the flash and hear the trumpets: “General Protection Fault” … that’s what’s happening. The General is getting some protection because the computer is shutting down … And, it’s not your fault.

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