CATCH A FALLING STAR
Comedy, by Ken Bradbury, 1996
Nurse Applebee is on duty in the ER room when Humpty-Dumpty comes in for treatment. They're both pretty good actors. Humorous.
Price includes 2 scripts.
Duration8 - 10 minutes
- 1 Female, 1 Male
Product Id: #205
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An excerpt …
(At the hospital emergency room.)
NURSE: (talking on the phone) No, it’s been quiet tonight. And thank goodness. When this hospital’s busy, it’s a madhouse. You should see some of the cases we get in here. It’s good to have one peaceful evening.
HUMPTY-DUMPTY: (from offstage) Get away from me!
NURSE: So much for that.
HD: (still offstage) Varlet! Release me from your clutches!
NURSE: Look, I’ll call you back. Sounds like we’ve got a mental case coming in.
HD: (entering, an extremely irate Humpty-Dumpty, limping) I heard that!
(He says he’s a great actor.)
NURSE: You might be, but you’ve also got some nasty bruises there, buddy. What’d you do?
HD: The great Humpty-Dumpty took a great fall!
NURSE: Great. So where does it hurt?
HD: Ah! The question is, Who does it hurt? Thousands screaming out for my return! Millions mourning the loss of their conquering hero! I can see the headlines: The Stage Goes Dark as Dumpty Declines!
NURSE: Got a temperature?
HD: Passion is my temperature! Tragedy is my pulse!
NURSE: Look, are these questions too hard for you?
(A great actor, maybe but a non-cooperative one.)
HD: Broken? My career in shambles? The theatre ground to a stupefying halt, all because its greatest actor lies suffering at the hands of an antiseptic butcher? Broken? I am crushed, Nurse Orangepeel! I am crushed! (he collapses in a grand climax)
NURSE: (a pause, then) Applebee. Well, I don’t know if I’d call it crushed but you do look a little wrinkled around the edges. I’d better take your temperature.
HD: (suddenly coming to) Don’t take another step!
NURSE: But I’ve got to put this thermometer in your mouth.
HD: Nothing dwells in this mouth but the words of the world’s greatest dramatists.
NURSE: Well, there is one other alternative. Roll over.
NURSE: Roll over. Makes no difference to me.
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