Comedy, by Ken Bradbury, 1998
Some young people attend a camp that is not so typical — then again, maybe it is.The number and gender of characters can be changed to accommodate available participants. Price is for a master script. Make as many copies as is required for your ensemble.
Duration8 - 10 minutes
- 3 Females, 2 Males
Product Id: #750
An excerpt …
(welcome to church camp)
GLORIA: (an overly-sweet, gushy-to-the-point-of-obnoxious camp activities director) Goooooo-Morning, campers! And Welcome to Camp Sunshine! I'm Gloria ... that's G-L-O-R-I-A! And I'm your camp social director! Say! Are we ready for a fun-filled week or what? You know, Camp Sunshine is just the biggest and best bible camp in Arkansas and you know why? It's because God created it! That's right! One day God was walking down Interstate 129 just outside of Little Rock and He said, "Wow! What a great place for a camp!" Yes He did! It's in the bible somewhere. No, don't look for it, Lucille ... It's in the newer versions only.
LUCILLE: (writing) Dear Mommy and Daddy, from your lonely and abandoned daughter Lucille. This is my first day at camp. I hate it. The social director reminds me of Aunt Midge ... the one nobody likes. My bunkmate is a girl named Margo who spends all our small group prayer time staring at boys' butts. This is her eighth year at camp and she's snagged a different boy every year. That's the only reason she comes, she says. Christian boys are easier to fool. And their Daddys always drive nice cars. We're supposed to meet the Sports Director this afternoon. His name is Uncle Ernie. I hope he's nice.
UNCLE ERNIE: (a heavily muscled reject from all-star wrestling, obviously the victim of testosterone poisoning) All right you guys! Snap to! Let me make one thing clear! God don't want no spindly-legged wimps!
(you must write a letter to somebody ... it's a requirement)
LUCILLE: Dear Mommy and Daddy ... I am really sick of Sandi Patti. I've got a bunk to myself now. They caught Margo making out with Skip Henderson during evening vespers and flag raising. They're making her wash dishes with a nun for punishment.
SKIP: Dear Spike. This is Skip. They say I gotta write a lousy letter every day and I hate to write so I thought I'd write one to you since you can barely read. Ha ha. I meet this really hot chick named Margo. They caught us makin' out last night but it was worth it. I don't think Margo is a Baptist. From what I've heard the old man say, I'd say she was a Democrat.
(after a tumultuous stay, it's finally time to say goodbye)
LUCILLE: Dear Margo, I am sending this letter home with your parole officer. He says that he'll be seeing you every week. I was really sorry about what happened to you and Skip. Gloria says that you both must have had some Methodist in your blood to pull such a trick. It's too bad you had to leave early. The next camp was coming in as we left. It was the Australians for God Power-Lifting Camp. You would really have liked their outfits. I can see mom and daddy's car coming up Damnation Boulevard now so I've got to go. I hope they didn't get all my letters. I'd kinda like to come back next year. I'm applying for the job of Athletic Director. As a farewell demonstration of God's power, Uncle Ernie tried to jump off the Rec Hall roof blindfolded. I hope God is forgiving, because Uncle Ernie forgot about Sister Phillip's barbecue grill. Love you! Lucille.
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