Comedy, by Ken Bradbury, 1995
Small town Freida takes on an international airline. The rest of the world must adjust to her ideas as to how a flight should be run.
Price includes 2 scripts.
Duration8 - 10 minutes
- 2 Females
Product Id: #201
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An excerpt …
(We all need flight instructions from the attendant.)
Freida: I don’t have to lean forward, sweetheart. The thing’s in my face already. (she takes something out of the seat pocket)
Connie: If you will notice on the back of the instructions ...
Freida: I don’t see any instructions.
Connie: ... You will notice that the emergency exits of today’s aircraft are ...
Freida: (reading) “In case of sickness, place bag over mouth ...”
(The take-off is always exciting.)
Connie: (still, fighting to maintain her composure) We HOPE you have a pleasant flight aboard TransAmerica. (and she turns her back to the audience)
Freida: I can’t move, I can’t breath, I can’t get up, and Bubba here has started snoring already. It’s gonna be a great flight. Well, here we go. Hang onto your shorts, folks! This sucker’s gonna fly! (as the plane begins to take off, Freida pulls the chair in front of her back onto her lap) … Hey! Hey, lady! Tip your seat up! I can’t breathe! Hey, lady! I’d move you myself but I’ve got the In-Flight magazine stickin’ up my nose! Hey, lady!
(There seems to be a disagreement.)
Connie: (finally losing her cool) All right! I’ve had it! I put up with squalling kids and their noisy computer games ...
Freida: (matching her gripe for gripe) I put up with long ticket lines ...
Connie: I put up with grouchy businessmen ...
Freida: I put up with greedy airlines that keep makin’ their seats smaller and smaller.
Connie: Irate customers!
Freida: Insolent flight attendants!
Freida: Smart alecks!
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