Comedy, by Ken Bradbury, 2007

A cruise ship sinks and there are 5 survivors on a small lifeboat.

The number and gender of characters can be changed to accommodate available participants. Price is for a master script. Make as many copies as is required for your ensemble.


8 - 10 minutes

    Cast Options

  • 3 Females, 2 Males
  • 1 Female, 4 Males
  • 4 Females, 1 Male
  • 5 Males
  • 2 Females, 3 Males
  • 5 Females

Product Id: #813

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An excerpt …

(in a lifeboat)

GWALTNEY: (raising up out of the mess) Where are we?

McQUILLAN: (raising his head) What happened?

GWALTNEY: I asked first. Where are we?

McQUILLAN: (peering over the edge of the boat) At sea. We’re in a boat.

GWALTNEY: I know that. Where?

McQUILLAN: (reaches down and touches the water then looks at his hand) In the ocean. (Then McQuillan collapses back into the heap of bodies.)


ROTHSTEIN: (suddenly raising up) Is it time for dinner?

GWALTNEY: The ship sank. No dinner.

(One of the survivors is the Recreational Director)

HURLEY: (laughs, then) That’s ridiculous! This is a boat! Every boat needs a recreational director! (shouting to the others lying about) Up! Up! Come on, everybody! Up and at ‘em! It’s time for our on-deck workout! Come on, you lazy bones! Up and at ‘em! (the others, with much groaning and pain, rise to a sitting position) Okay! How about a few jumping jacks to get those sea legs going? Ready? (jumping up and down) One! Two! One! Two! One! Two!

McQUILLAN: Is he crazy?


HURLEY: Come on! Smell that sea air! Let your muscles breathe! One! Two! One! Two! Oh, my favorite sounds on the sea!

BECKWITH: I got a favorite sound.

HURLEY: What’s that?

BECKWITH: “Man overboard!” (and he shoves Hurley out of the boat

(They seem very composed about their fate.)

McQUILLAN: Not at all. You know, I’ve been wondering …

GWALTNEY: What’s that?

McQUILLAN: Should we all die at once or one at a time?

ROTHSTEIN: (rising up) What’s the difference?

GWALTNEY: Thought you were dead.

ROTHSTEIN: Nearly. Just a couple minutes left, I think.

McQUILLAN: Well, you see, the difference is this … If we all die at once it would save the last few the agony of watching us go.

BECKWITH: Could I go first? I had the balcony.

GWALTNEY: No. Death is democratic, I think. All men are equal in death. At least they should be.


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